humbled

right now i am sitting in my warm, cozy house watching my baby boy sleep peacefully next to me in the light of our Christmas tree. yesterday was what i'd like to call "a turning point." it happens every so often and it's not fun, but much needed. last night i stayed up late talking with my hubby and it helped. this morning i woke up ready to conquer all that needs to get done to make this a merry holiday for myself and the kiddos. tonight will be special and i'm off to finish the preparations and relish this time with my little baby boy before big sister takes center stage :) i can't wait for Santa either AND as a bonus--it's snowing outside!

the truth

i've been putting on a happy face. shopping for gifts, baking goodies, and delivering presents all while inside i want to scream. today i broke. i was running my final errands and in a rush, forgot the one item i went to that specific store to get. with all the dinners, parties, get-togethers and what-not that surrounds this time of year i was limited on my time. instead i was forced to drag two kids, one sleeping & the other sleepy, to the store to pick up the Christmas cards that will not arrive before Christmas and all the food or treats we've "volunteered" to bring to the festivities this weekend. my hubby just got an earful because i'm DONE! i haven't felt the spirit of the season this year. i haven't done anything for ME this year. i really just wanted to see the lights at temple square. we've been downtown twice, but both times we've rushed to return home. my kids can sense the tension i'm carrying around and are not helping the situation, but they are not to be blamed. i haven't had time to take Savanna to see Santa this year. instead, she met "father Christmas" at my friends, mother's work. got that? the only lights she's seen are the ones from the car window as we rush home after a frantic day of NOTHING! or at least that's how i feel when it's over. i have a closet full of presents to wrap including those items from my list that require a certain size or color. one of these days i will update this blog with all the happenings and memories i want to remember and record for my blog book. until then, i will be praying for life to slow down enough that i can enjoy it and if it doesn't i'll make myself a vinyl quote to put on my bathroom mirror that reads: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. thanks for listening {reading}. don't worry, i'm off to pour myself a diet coke and watch something christmas-like on tv. later i will wrap all those presents, hopefully while listening to the Christmas devotional i missed. Merry friggin' Christmas.

chris? who's chris?

for most of you {myself included} if & when savanna were to mention the name chris you'd immediately assume she was talking about her dad or to her dad. well, this is not the case. as i realized today, after TWO misunderstandings and a reaffirmation from nana "D", turns out "chris" is an imaginary friend. the first incidence was this morning. my visiting teachers were over and savanna was playing with a friend. she came downstairs and announced "mommy, chris doesn't want to play trains." to which i responded, "her name is brooklyn and maybe she just wants to play with the girl toys."
weird, yes. attention getter, not really.
the second time was my ah! moment. savanna and i were at the doctors office and return to our assigned room after an eventful bathroom experience--getting a urine sample from a 3 yr. old is a whole post in itself.
savanna entered the room first and i closed the door. immediately savanna asked, "where's chris?"
"who?"
"chris, he's blue."
"what does this chris do?"
"he jumps here, and goes whoosh over here." {she was doing actions showing how one would fly from the doctors computer to the chair between us}
i sent her dad, chris, a text message mentioning that i thought she may have an imaginary friend named "chris." it was then that i heard that on saturday while savanna was with her dad, chris, at his parents house and playing in the basement, nana "D" heard her talking to a "chris" and calling "chris". she also just assumed she was talking to he dad and asked him about it before they left. apparently "chris" has been around longer than i thought. looks like my life just got more complicated and entertaining all in the same moment. awesome!

yum yum yummiest

the question i asked myself this evening {and most every evening}: what's for dinner?!?! now that i live in UTAH its a lovely night when it's a Cafe Rio Nite! after a day of marathon shopping {and running errands with my mom}, an unexpected doctors appointment, and regular everyday craziness--it's a wee bit o' heaven for this s-l-o-w-l-y adjusting mother of two. jealous much? you should be!

ahhhh! much better now! that fussy baby in the background, i can handle it WITH a smile. wow. i need a little "Rio" more often *wink, wink*.

blessing day

i LOVE baby blessing day!

i love the spirit that lingers while you dress your little baby in white. i love the knowledge that my Father in Heaven loves me enough to trust me with His child for a time. i am always mindful of my hubby who loathes speaking in public, but takes pride in the Priesthood he holds and blesses our children. i love remembering all the little promises and blessings that await my little boy as he grows up. i am always strengthened and motivated to be a better mother and teacher when i know a lot depends on me. being a mother is a great blessing and challenge that i try and enjoy a little more everyday.

sadly, i was so caught up in the moment and loving visiting with family & friends in our new house that i completely forgot to take any pictures. lucky for me, i had these pictures taken just after the big day or there would be no record of the adorable outfit Nana "D" whipped up. i just love my little man--white cords, sweater vest & let's not forget the little beret.

life.

I love blogging for many reasons. last week it was because i was feeling a little down and through the blogs of others i found my voice. for the sake that i know i cannot escape similar days in the future, i decided to just cut-n-paste the little snippets in which i heard myself and could relate. it's always a good thing to know that other moms feel the same way.

"it's been one of those days, er weeks, okay... months. it feels good to say it out loud, let the healing process begin.

as much i wish i were, i've never claimed to be super mom, or to live a practically perfect life. that's the stuff fairy tales are made of. & while i am living my own version of "happily ever after," it's definitely not disney material. but lately, things aren't even close to being perfect, in fact, life seems to be utter chaos. these days, i've been fighting the blues, you might say i've been just a wee bit grumpy. i don't know, maybe you can relate, or maybe you'll think i'm completely off my rocker - but it feels as though i'm slowly drowning. i try not to let it show... that's what i do, what i've always done. i like to build a wall or fortress around myself, slowly shutting out friends, family & the world - transforming myself into what jeffy lovingly calls the "ice princess." sweet of him, huh? it's the sad, but real, truth. i can feel it happening. so i'm trying hard to fight it. each and every day i wake up & try to put on a brave face. i try to think of all the things i'm grateful for, for all of the wonderful blessings and opportunities i have & have had throughout my life. and most days i manage to come out on top. but not lately."



AND



"i hate those days when you look back and think, "wow. i was kind of a scary mom today. how many times did i yell? how many times did i squeeze my fists and grit my teeth and count to ten? did i really survive on a single stick of string cheese because i was too busy trying to keep everyone else happy? how many time-outs did we end up having?" yep, that was me today."

two

it's been TWO weeks.



i still have TWO children {i was a bit worried that one may not survive :) my money was on the oldest one}



i have learned i can still survive on TWO hour intervals of sleep at night.


most days require the consumption of more that TWO diet cokes in order to function on a below-average level of coherency.


baby number TWO seems like a better baby than number one, but that could be due to experience {or not}


for now, i am really, really liking the number TWO. it's a good number. i feel fulfilled.

baby boy

i read a quote once that read:

"a sleeping baby must be what heaven is like."

i couldn't agree more.

i love to smell him.
snuggle him.
and rub my nose in his baby fuzz.

my baby boy is too precious!

first impressions

lucky for me, Priesthood blessings are a miracle i am blessed to enjoy in my life. i know it was because of the blessing i received that i was able to go home on sunday. while it was later in the afternoon than we originally planned, i was allowed to go home and finally see my little girl and introduce her to "baby Easton." {due to the swine flu epidemic, IHC hospitals in the state of Utah decided to enforce strict visiting rules. sadly, Savanna was not able to visit me or meet Easton until we came home from the hospital.}

we'll just pretend that Savanna was all about the baby. she was excited to see him and touch him. but not enough to put down her trains and hold him.

she asks where he is if i'm not holding him. when he cries she reassuringly tells you, "he's got a bubble," and when i lay him on the floor she lays next to him and counts his fingers...over & over.

unexpected delivery

okay, so that's a bit of an exaggeration, but there were many unexpected moments. all to be detailed in the l-o-n-g story.

the short story:

Baby Easton was born on Friday, October 16 @ 4:30am. he weighed in at an even 7lbs. and measured 20 inches long. BIG news...he's not a crier. yes, he cries, but compared to the set of lungs his sister had i loving refer to his as squealing or squawking.

the l-o-n-g story:

coming soon! until then...enjoy the pictures :)

overload

yes. i need to update the blog with all the fun things we did this summer. yes. we are alive and still looking forward to baby brothers arrival. no. we do not have a name picked out. i am currently on bed rest due to blood pressure issues. i have a great bed buddy, although our tv preferences vary widely, we've been enjoying the day while waiting to hear back from the doctor. will it be more tests? early delivery? two weeks of watching my hands, face, and feet swell to monstrous proportions? it's any ones guess at this point...i don't think i need to mention what i want :) as soon as this drama is over i will share all my fun projects and activities i've been up too. monday Savanna is joining her daddy and his fam on her first ever "witch hunt" at gardner's village. explanation and pictures to come SOON! until then, just know that she is tickled with excitement over the prospect of "twick or treating" and the "naked sppokies" (i.e. skeletons) we have decorating our house. i love this time of year!

she's a maniac

NEVER in my wildest dreams would i have thought Savanna would enjoy an amusement park!

on a whim, i decided to join my sister's family, their friends, and hundreds of other patrons willing to take part in 2 for 1 day at Utah's own LAGOON. i arrived fully expecting to be disappointed and stressed out with a screaming toddler in tow. luckily i was proven wrong as my daughter eagerly asked to have "my turn" on EVERY ride in sight. i played it safe and started her out slow on the whale ride...

i almost had to hold back the tears of joy as i heard her squeals of delight throughout the day. my proudest moment had to be when she endured, enjoyed, and excitedly gave me a play-by-play of the Lady Bug Drop experience. {pics/video is currently on my sister's camera. too be posted later}

i am hoping to squeeze in another fun day at the park before the season ends. next time i'll be sure to bring daddy {and a fully charged camera battery}. good thing my glucose test came back normal--the cotton candy, snow cones, and carmel apples alone may be enough to ensure my return BEFORE i must acknowledge all the "baby weight" i've gained.

{not to mention the $12 mug with FREE refills ALL day long!}

seeing squares

just in case you've been wondering what i've been doing all this time i should've been updating my blog--here's a sneak peek:

the final preparations are being made in anticipation of "baby brother." nope. no names yet. any suggestions would be greatly appreciated as i am becoming increasingly worried that this child could remain nameless.

moving day

after what seemed like forever {it was FOUR days}, good ol' Fannie May decided to relinquish the keys and we were finally able to move in. with strict orders from the doctor, i was unable to assist in any of the heavy labor :) i chose to perch myself in a lawn chair and oversee it all through the camera lens. thanks to all our family members for helping out--i knew living close would have it's perks!

nothing like a few tumble weeds to remind you that you live in the desert :)

apparently, i only have pictures of MY family helping...

the kids tested out the toys before they were placed in the truck...safety first!

crossing our fingers...

i'm hoping i don't jinx myself by posting these pictures. our closing is set for tomorrow @ 4 pm. i've been secretly staging the furniture and decor. it's so much fun. i wish i had better pictures or more of them. but beggars can't be choosy, so come along on my little virtual tour...

the view from the sidewalk

Welcome! LOVE the entrance--the door is solid iron & heavy.

we've just gone inside.

there is no living room, so you walk right into our life--no secrets here!

let's continue around into the kitchen.

LOVE it!!

{stainless steel, granite counters, a pantry--wow!}

more of the kitchen & a peek into the garage access, laundry room, basement stairs, etc.

straight ahead-the garage;

to the right-the laundry room & 1/2 bath;

to the left-stairs to the basement

back at the entry...take a turn to the right and this is what you'd see--our hallway.

the first door is the master bedroom, then the main bathroom. the door at the end leads into what will be Savanna's bedroom, and across from the bathroom is "baby brother's" room {but Chris will be using it as the home office until he finishes himself a space in the basement}

from the entry... if you were to turn to the left, you'd see the stairway to the BONUS room above the garage...

this will be the main TV room and playroom for the kids. i am hoping to finagle a little computer desk/craft area into here also. it's a lot bigger than the picture reveals. good news: the kids already love it! Savanna and cousins have races from one end to the other...maybe no furniture will be needed :)

i hope you enjoyed my little tour. hopefully we can get everything put into it's proper place and i can show off our actual living areas. luckily there is no painting or minor repairs needed at all! that's a dream after our last "work in progress" home. okay--so the yard needs a little TLC, but that's fun work :)

Sav-isms

this girl CRACKS ME UP! her personality is really starting to shine through. chris and i are constantly making comments about how big she is getting and how funny she is.

• a few weeks ago we were leaving chris's parents house after sunday dinner and when we walked outside into the darkness, Savanna exclaimed, "look nana, it's just boo-tiful," while pointing to the stars in the sky.
• she LOVES to snuggle in the blankets. when she wants you to snuggle with her she'll say, "snug as a rug?" {as in "snug as a bug in a rug"}
• just recently, every sentence ends with a simple question, "okay?" where it came from, we don't know, but it does get annoying real fast.
• the attitude is really starting to shine through. the deep sigh, annoyed grumbling, and similar sounds to those i make myself are being repeated on a regular basis.
• "mom/dad, you play with me?" is a daily question around our house. it's all good fun until she decides that you're not playing the way she wants and she'll start telling you how to "play."

happy day!

no one ever informed me of the motherly excitement that comes when your child accomplishes TWO solid days of potty training. i've attempted {half hearted} in the past, but bribery and potty treats failed. i made an attempt upon moving into Nana's house complete with stickers and cheering section. even with the promise of a new "big girl" bike, she wasn't interested. she's THREE!! i asked the doctor and he wasn't concerned and warned against forcing her to train. with my hopes for pre-school this fall being shattered as the registration date neared...low and behold, she asked one afternoon to "try like mommy." i woke up the next day determined to see it through. trips to the "potty" are frequent and exciting, but the great accomplishment was made this afternoon...she pooped IN the TOILET! seriously! this is HUGE for us. i was worried that she'd hold it and get sick. after the moment i asked her was prize she wanted and she quickly exclaimed "ummmm--let's see?!? a RED balloon!" so off we went to the dollar store. i even splurged on the way home and scored us a couple of ice cream cones for success. happy, happy day! i LOVE the smile of accomplishment that beams my way each and every time she exclaims "I DID IT!!"

blah, blah, blah

i've heard it all people. i am fully aware of the lack of updating i've been doing. it seems that moving home has made for a lot more play dates and projects than blogging. i have decided this week will be my "catch-up" week. i know that if i don't get it together now, that all hell will break loose with baby #2 just around the corner. in the meantime, patience my faithful readers...it's coming!

the verdict

It's A BOY!

Savanna has her own set of ultra-sound pictures she shows off. She knows "baby brother" is in mommy's tummy. I'm excited that I get to buy all new BOY stuff! I may have bit off more than I can chew by deciding to make his bedding myself. I just LOVE the rag quilts and they don't sell a set at any of my favorite stores. Good thing we're living with my mom & I have a bit of extra time on my hands...264 squares...yikes! I must admit that I was becoming a bit concerned because I hadn't felt any baby sized kicks. It all came together at the ultra-sound. This kid just lays there. Yes, he'll move his hands, feet, etc. But nothing like his big sister was. I'm hoping it's a sign that we're in for a mellow little boy. After Savanna I could use a little tranquility.

cousin love

Savanna & Madison 2009

these two are known as "the twins" or "double trouble." it's very much a love/hate relationship. either they are playing nice and entertaining to the rest of us; or pulling hair, hitting, crying, etc. it's become "the norm" for double time-outs. one is always talking about the other {Savanna even mentions Madison in her sleep}. lucky for them, their mothers are sisters and have arranged many a trade-off in order to run errands or clean house. gotta love it!

just peachy

yesterday was my first-trimester screening and all is well with the bun in my oven. due to extreme circumstances Savanna was able to attend and had absolutely no interest in the baby but was rather concerned as to whether or not it "tickled my tummy." i kept trying to show her the baby's head, arms, etc. and she'd change the subject to a random object in the room. apparently she is excited to be a big sister, but hasn't quite figured out that a baby is a requirement of big sisterhood. i'm sure as my belly continues to grow that she'll figure it out and i'm almost dreading her reaction. luckily this time around family will be near to help in the transition. and because the nana's and papa's are curious, here's a preview of the newest member of our little family. . .

because she's 3

she likes to pose for the camera

dinosaurs and lions are found in all areas of our house

i'm told to go to time-out more often than she is

dancing and singing are top priorities

everything has a color that is acknowledged immediately when noticed

getting dirty is "cucky" and "spwills" must be cleaned up ASAP

loading and unloading the grocery cart is HER job and if you do it--BEWARE!!

i'm learning to take advantage of the "i do it" attitude and send her on random errands throughout the day if i'm comfy or watching tv :)

tv may not always be the best influence

she actually likes to have her hair done everyday

she repeats the random phrases use on a regular basis: "be right back"; "just a minute"; etc.

"opposites" is a favorite game to play {fast:slow; loud:quiet; big:small; up:down; open:close}

keeping it low-key

i can still get away with it because she's THREE and more parties & presents are awaiting our arrival out west. this year with Easter and birthday festivities only a day apart i decided on being a bit selfish and keeping things a little low-key. we had our close friends {who we consider our east coast family} over for cake and ice cream.

Savanna did not like the idea of being the center of attention {weird?!} but finally took a seat in the fashioned "birthday chair" and joined in the chaos of the kiddie table. to be honest i wasn't surprised that she hid around the corner as "happy birthday" was being sung. she cried when i lit the birthday candles, so her friends did the honors and blew them out. no wishes for her this year :) she scored some great gifts and enough cash to purchase the coveted Bella Dancerella.

thanks to everyone who helped us celebrate 3 years with our little girl.

she's still talking about the "party house" and her "briday".

silly girl

"look mom, i'm a pirate. arrrrrg!"

*note to self: always keep water wings out of sight or they MUST become a daily accessory :)

things to remember

Seeing as how we are moving from the ever confusing hodge-podge of east coast roadways to the delectable and expansive west coast. Chris has finally decided to invest in a GPS for his "work" car. Classic! On our recent trip to Boston we noticed a subtle but humorous echo coming from the backseat. It seems that Savanna has taken a liking to "Lucy" and enjoys repeating her instruction..."turn. left. ahead."

Her current choice of TV show of choice is: Max & Ruby, or as Savanna says "Max & Woobie; Woobie & Max" It's never one without the other.

Appearance is a big deal around our house. ALL attire must mimic a PINcess. I've invested a lot of time and effort to secure all tunic tops and leggings with a 10 mile radius. Lately as I've tried to broaden the daily uniform I am quickly informed that most items are "too big." Which means she doesn't like it for one reason or the other.


Last night I decided to ignore Savanna's cries in the middle of the night only to realize that she'd soon just pack up her must-have bedtime items and camp out in our bed. Baby dolls and bear included. {I did have to hide a chuckle when I tried to steer her back to her bedroom and a stack of books that were wedged between herself and her pillow crashed to the floor. Books at 2am? seriously?}

positive changes

We are EXCITED to announce:

Our family of

{3}

will become

{4}

in

October 2009

Aside from the usual ickiness that accompanies baking a baby, I'm doing great!

My belly is already beginning to swell.

My cravings are odd and out-of-control.

Our little sweet pea will make it's first appearance this Friday when I visit the doctor.

late-night laughs

Yup, it's the wee hours of the morning and we're up and running around this house. Sadly I was unable to arouse Savanna from her impromptu nap at 4pm and could sense a moment like this one in my future. I took a nap too!

She woke me up with the announcement "I'n hungy." When I got out of bed she greeted me with a big bear hug and exclaimed "I wuv ewe too, Mommy!" For that, getting up at 2am isn't all that unbearable :) Upon arriving in the kitchen I asked what she would like to eat to which she replied, "wunch." After regaining my composure from thinking it was the most hilarious response she could have given me {remember it IS 2am}. I scrounged up some animal crackers and milk. When she noticed the meager meal, she did not complain. Instead she announced, "Mmmm...cookies! I wuv cookies! Tank YOU!"

Seriously, how can I not love being this little girls mom??

sooo...updates are in the works. drafts have been saved and awaiting pictures. i have A LOT to make note of. Savanna has been keeping me on my toes and my computer time is limited between all i have going on. keep checking back. i promise to have something by tonight--okay, Sunday. thanks for all the support and concern as to my lack of blogging. i'll be back later. my attention has already been compromised--again!

resolutions

Instead of making resolutions about how I'm going to be a better mom/wife, lose weight, etc. I'm just going to try to live by this quote by Julie Beck:

"Mothers who know do less...They are willing to live on less and consume less of the world's goods in order to spend more time with their children -- more time eating together, more time working together, more time reading together, more time talking, laughing, singing and exemplifying. These mothers choose carefully and do not try to choose it all..."

the verdict is in

Chris got the job!!

WEEEHOOO!!

sooner rather than later:

the house will be packed,

the moving truck loaded,

all without my lifting of a finger.

that's right folks...

full re-location package included.

Utah here we come!

*happy dance*

back to life. . .

back to reality!

we're BACK!! our Christmas decor is still up,

suitcases have yet to be put away, and

we're still dragging two hours behind.

good thing Savanna likes to entertain herself.